"Whoa-oh ooooooooh. The right stuff" - New Kids On the Block
So as I continue down my path, I realize I don't have a great definition or label for myself. Agnostic kinda works. Atheist kinda works. Secular Humanist kinda works.
All in all, what I do find is that my life continues without a sense of spirituality. At least spirituality in the way most people seem to find it. I do take time to appreciate the wonders of the world and I enjoy them greatly, but I don't spend a lot of time these days contemplating their origin or reason for being. Nor mine, for that matter.
I know I'm here to affect change on the world and on others. And I know that I have done so in many positive ways even sometimes in the veil of something negative.
These days I spend my time concerning myself with my own responsibilities. I have found in the past that I seemed to spend a lot of time around people who really shirk their personal responsibilities, and as a result, I think I'm sensitive to it. I feel a responsibility to do for myself and to those I'm responsible in a way that minimizes my impact on others.
I've always grown up sensitive to how others perceive me, and there was a time I bent over backwards to ensure that people saw me in the best light possible. So far, in fact, that I often put aside my own wants and needs to feed this.
After snapping back from that, and the inevitable wobble it caused, I decided that not only were my needs important, but that I needed to be responsible for my imposition on others.
And thats how I try and live my life. It's not perfect. And it is a struggle, much like everybody else. But I like knowing that my goals have tangible results, and that my accomplishments afford me proverbial feathers in my cap that give me preferential consideration towards things I find important.
I understand that successes are a product of my interaction with the uncertainty of the world and the efforts I make covering contingencies that are worth the success. I also understand that failures are also the same product but with different, NOT NEGATIVE, results. While I may not have accomplished my goal in a way intended, I did accomplish a different goal, and it is up to me to anticipate it if possible, and also to take responsibility for it, as well as re-evaluating the need to try again.
And in the meantime, I make effort to enjoy the little things and spend time appreciating my existence and the existence of others.